Weekend Thoughts

Hey Ladies! I’m back to share with you a few personal insights from a night out on the town. As the weekend is upon us, I thought I may recount some events that took place recently.

Although we usually abide by the mainstream lesbian stereotype on Friday nights and stay in, cuddling with our beloved pet (Yoshi!) and watching Netflix in bed, or go shopping at the Home Depot, last week we decided to break all the rules and go out.

We made plans with another lesbian couple to meet up downtown, grab a few drinks and have fun. Here’s my general perspective on the evening.

Night OutWe ended up going to three places – El Centro DF, JR’s, and Cafe Citron. As you can see, two out of three are “straight” places. I put “straight” in quotations, because, really, any place can be as queer as you make it, just depending on how comfortable you are with being out. So, El Centro really was a chill dinner place. We sat downstairs, close by the bar area, and enjoyed some tacos and margaritas. The most lesbian thing about our dinner was, obviously, our conversation about the respective relationships and making plans for a lesbian-themed trip to the beach in the near future. So, aside from a gay guy sitting at a neighboring table and a gender-neutral restroom, nothing particularly gay happened.

Afterwards, to dive back into queer territory, we went for a few drinks to JR’s. I haven’t been there in years, so I was a bit apprehensive. It was nice to be back in a gay space, although the four of us were the only women. Really, the place was pretty packed, and it was a sea of gay guys. It was fun and all, but I found myself longing for a more lesbian-inclusive environment. This just goes to show that, still, night life overall is much more conducive to the “G” in LGBT. I don’t know what it is. Is it that we, lesbians, have a stay-at-home reputation? Is it that the club/bar owners think we won’t bring in as much revenue? I found these notions atrocious, as I know that both well-to-do and the self-proclaimed “broke” lesbians enjoy a night out and are willing to shell out the cash for the cover and a few drinks.

Anyway, after they noticed me getting slightly bored with just hanging out by the bar, our (girl) friends suggested going to dance next. This is where Cafe Citron came up somehow. Now, let me step back and walk you through a flashback of my last experience there. About a year ago, my partner and I were dragged to Cafe Citron by mutual Latin American friends (Note: My partner is from Central America, hence the preference for Latin music). Needless to say, as soon as she and I started dancing, we unintentionally caught attention of this guy who was clearly looking to hook up with some unsuspecting girl(s). When we actively ignored his advances and attempts to talk to us, he began loudly to say things along the lines of “You’re disgusting,” meant to refer to our sexual orientation. When my partner gave him a deathly stay-the-f***-away look, he got really aggressive and shouted in her face that he wanted to “Take it outside.” Yes, that happened. No, I am not making it up. I hate to be stereotyping, but unfortunately the straight men, who kept trying to touch me as we were making our way through the crowd towards the exit, entirely lived up to the aggressive, macho type expectations. That particular male specimen, who threatened us, affected me so negatively that I promised myself never to return to that place.

Fast forward a year to present day and our lesbian friends suggesting Cafe Citron as a viable option to go dancing. Surely you must understand my apprehension or, rather, a flat-out repulsion at the thought of returning there. Nevertheless, not wanting to be a b*tch, I acquiesced, and we made our way over there. As we spent a few minutes in a line, quickly approaching the entrance, I started to think that perhaps I was being melodramatic. Still, I never wanted to relive the experience of some man threatening my partner. We made our way in, and my love and I went to the upper level to use the restroom and get a couple of RedBulls (we have had enough drinks, and I wanted something to pick me up). Not having experienced any outward advances for the moment, I started to feel better. A few moments later, something ridiculous happened. As my partner and I were standing by the bar, some tall blond guy strolled over and started hitting on us. Mind you, he had no game, throwing out lines like “You want to see something interesting?” to which I (perhaps callously) responded with a “No, not really.” Then, we got a winner of a line, “How can you turn down the most handsome guy in the club?” I mean, was he serious? I have to say that, yes, he was. With his ridiculous statement, that is. His looks went unnoticed. What is it with straight guys? Do they honestly expect heterosexual or bi women to respond to sh*t like this? I don’t know and I don’t really care.

Back to our night. After leaving that poor soul of a desperate dude completely rejected, my partner and I went downstairs and finally began dancing. When no one rudely approached us or tried to get in the middle, I actually started to have a good time. Opting out of intricate salsa dancing, I picked up my pace when the DJ dropped some reggaeton/hip-hop beats. I have to say, I was able to be sexy with my partner on the dance floor without being harassed after all! As we were dancing, she whispered to me that our recent marriage equality victory must have influenced some straight men, who would have cut in otherwise. I would certainly like to think so. I mean, it should not take a major political event for men to stop bothering women, but at least it’s somewhat of a step towards progress. Sad as it may be, at the moment when I was dancing freely, I did not dwell too much on my uneasy feeling of what it actually took not to be harassed. I just wanted to enjoy a moment with my woman.

So, there you have it. An option of a neutral dinner, a place to hang out with gay guys, and a possibly new and improved dance venue. Now, what awaits us this weekend? I am not yet sure. Tonight perhaps it will be a glass of wine and a Lip Service marathon. Tomorrow we are getting together with the other lesbian couple again and we shall see where the evening takes us. Here’s hoping I will have an interesting update to share before the week is over!

Cheers,

E

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